Body Language The Double Edge Sword

Conveying the meaning of your message is without doubt important. How do you do so? Again, it seems so simple?through words, of course. Ironically, words have the least impact on how your message is ultimately understood. A study done at General Electric reveals that over half the message?approximately 58 percent?is conveyed by body language; 37 percent of the message is conveyed by tone of voice; and a mere 5 percent of the message is conveyed by the words used. In order to send a congruent message, the words, tone of voice, and body language need to be sending the same message. If the words say one thing and the body language says something else, the body language is believed to be the real message.

It is often said that body language doesn't lie. This is true because body language is an unconscious process interpreted by the right brain of the receiver. Yet it is difficult to interpret body language because a slight variation can mean many different things to different people. Therefore, it is critical to know what your body language is conveying.

One can, however, make accurate inferences from many body gestures. The eyes and facial expressions convey the majority of body language messages. Flirting is a universally understood form of communication. Since the eyes and mouth are the most distinctive, it is important to study what you are doing with them when making statements. For example, when you say, "No," you need to give firm, direct (not staring or glaring) eye contact and form the word "no" with the lips wide open and pushed forward, squeezing in the corners of the mouth as the "O" sound finishes. Your tone of voice needs to be firm and at a slightly lower register than normal conversation.

Using a lower register does not mean speaking more quietly. It means using a slightly baritone sound. Women have the most difficulty in effecting this sound. Speaking at too high a register sometimes undermines women's credibility and may cause their statements to be considered insignificant or not worth taking seriously.Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to speak too harshly, using sharp, hard tones even when the situation doesn't require it.

Men naturally have deep voices; therefore, they seldom need to lower their voice inflection to convey a firm message. Men do need to be aware that their natural tone of voice can often intimidate. Thus, they may need to soften and relax their delivery.These are generalizations and need to be experimented with. You will need to get feedback from others to determine how your delivery is being perceived. Get several opinions from male and female friends, colleagues, superiors, subordinates, and acquaintances.

Although you will receive slightly different reactions, a pattern will emerge which will give you an idea how to 'specialize' your presentation when interacting with specific individuals or groups.Learning to send a congruent message which appeals to the whole person's perception capability and preference takes time and effort. For those who are concerned that it will take too much time to learn to send a congruent message, think of the time you spend redoing, re-explaining, or rehashing an issue that has gone astray, or the damage that is done when there are misunderstandings. If one aspect is not attended to, the communication process breaks down. In more complicated forms of communication it is paramount that all skills for effective communication are employed.

By: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD